Friday, April 21, 2006
Chelsea Footballers target of new 4x4 protest by fabulous 'Footballers' Wives'
Joined by the footballers' wives, the Alliance Against Urban 4x4s carried out a daring protest this Wednesday at the training ground of Chelsea Football Club.
As players arrived for training at the ground in Cobham, Surrey, a referee handed the footballers a giant 'red card' for their poor choice of gas-guzzling 4x4s, saying "Send off your 4x4".
He was joined by a gaggle of 'footballers' wives' in their most fabulous fake fur and bling, and with their very straightest hairdos. The wives berated the players with stylish pink placards saying, "I'd rather guzzle champagne than petrol", "Your 4x4 is minging not blinging" and "Range Rover - SO over".
Referee Blake Ludwig one of the founders of the Alliance Against Urban 4x4s - said, "These wasteful, dirty and dangerous 4x4s ought to be sent off. They guzzle far more fuel than ordinary cars and are far more dangerous to pedestrians, particularly small children, who are twice as likely to be killed if they are hit by a big 4x4 due to the extra weight and height of the vehicle."
Spokeswife Roxanne, looking fabulous as she waved her placard, said, "I hope these players don't think they are impressing us in their fat, ugly tanks -they are totally minging. Just think of all the bubbly they could buy if they weren't wasting all that cash on petrol for their stupid Chelsea tractors."
"We challenge the players to follow the cool, talented Hollywood star Thandie Newton, who knows where the game is really at. She recently ditched her 4x4 for a much cleaner hybrid-electric car."
Fellow spokeswife and mother of three, Shiraz, said, "Millions of kids take these top players as their role models, copying their fashionable clothes, silky skills, groundbreaking haircuts - and their taste in cars. While a haircut is relatively harmless, don't they realise the irony of making kids want 4x4s when it's the same kids who are going to have to pay for climate change in the future?"
